We are all in earth school learning lessons that boil down to learning unconditional love of self and others. The biggest block to learning/feeling unconditional love is the way we view things and the way we feel about things. I often ask for a "perception and attitude adjustment" which changes me internally and then allows for my external world to totally change. It repeatedly happens: change my viewpoint and attitude and my every day life changes in miraculous ways.
Below are common road blocks to learning our lessons. These three roadblocks are worked with using a healing process shown to me in 2005 called, "Disconnection from the Collective Shadow." All of the healing processes that have been shown to me since continue to work with these three areas since they are so ingrained in our psyches.
Letting go of expectations of others. We can have a desire but we can’t expect that a certain individual is capable, willing, or able to do it. The best thing to do is to stay open to whoever is able to fulfill it.
This is harder with spouses and close, intimate relationships and also with family members such as our children, parents, and siblings. There are certain “expectations” that are dictated by society. Of course we want to teach our children things that ensure safety and helps them with their future along with expecting to be treated well by those close to us. Unfortunately, some people have mental health issues, addictions issues, traumas, etc. that can get in the way of following these rules.
We need to set firm boundaries for ourselves, not enable people, and realize that we don’t have that much control over people and situations. Realizing that our personality is not really in control anyways is very instructive and a very high spiritual goal.
Letting go of self-judgment. Most of us are hardest on ourselves. We can even blame ourselves for things that really make no sense. For example, “if I would have helped my spouse with their stress, they wouldn’t be an alcoholic” or “if I would have had better discipline, my child wouldn’t have bi-polar.” We can believe we have control over people’s destinies or our own in ways that are really not possible and then blame ourselves for things not working out. Some self judgment may have a logical basis but all mistakes need to be forgiven.
Letting go of our personality’s or brain’s control over outcome. Our brain only knows the past so cannot come up with anything new or better. Our Spirit or Higher Self knows everything about us and has all the answers we need. The brain is good at implementing the new ideas that the Higher Self brings in for us. We want our Higher Self to be the director of our lives and the brain to be the implementer. Our brain cannot know anything new too far in advance of when we’re going to need the information or else it wants to turn it into something it already knows from the past which makes it no longer new and exciting. It’s best to trust that the Higher Self has the answers and wait for the appropriate timing for things to happen.
Ask your Higher Self to bring you the needed attitude and perception adjustments and see how it changes your life. Leave a comment on this blog on what results you noticed.