Your fourth chakra (heart) is about love and forgiveness. Hurts and grudges are held here. This can be the hardest chakra to keep clear since everyone has a limited capacity to love due to many factors and can have difficulty forgiving self and others. Walls of protection can be built here which may be helpful in childhood since we’re developmentally incapable of solving things and being in charge of our lives. The walls eventually become detrimental since they keep people out and keep us from being in intimate relationships. We can also get in the habit of using walls of protection rather than working through our hurts and pain.
- "Wishing things were different" is a common reason why you might have hurts and grudges. You wish that somebody knew how to love you, you wish that the person didn't have a drinking problem, you wish the other person didn't have a mental illness, you wish that their past hurts didn't effect their capacity to love you. Wishing things were different shuts you down from possibilities that are healthy and positive for you.
- Another common reason for hurts and grudges is communications challenges. The way you phrase something may be taken wrong by the receiver. This then shuts them down so anything you say is not heard accurately. We all have different meanings for words and phrases along with past hurts where certain words trigger a person into shutting down.
- Trauma is a common reason you may have hurts and grudges. Most people have some kind of trauma by the time they're 18 years old. Physical, emotional, and sexual abuse is a part of the human shadow side that is difficult to transform but certainly possible to transform if you have the tenacity and willingness to work through it.
- Harsh self judgment leads to lack of self love which is the crux of why everyone's hearts feel hurt and closed. This can stem to past lives where you haven't forgiven yourself. You may still have the energy running in your energy field from past lives where its as though the lifetimes were still happening. Wishing you had handled things differently can cause lack of self forgiveness along with believing the harsh words that another angry, closed off person has projected upon you.
All of these things can cause you to put walls up in your heart chakra. These walls can temporarily numb out the feelings you have about a situation but, over time, it will cause you to shut down and not allow good things into your life as well. The old hurts will be projected onto everyone you meet and keep them out. To release old hurts and grudges and lack of self love, read techniques from the 1st and 2nd chakra blogs.
If you look at each person coming into your life as a chance to learn and grow despite the outer appearances, it is much easier to clear out any hurts that may arise. The key is that you CAN clear out any hurts that happen to you so you don't need the walls. It is much more effective to let go of any hurts, pain, lack of love, and disappointments rather than covering them up and creating a toxic environment in your heart.
Keep reminding yourself, "I am a Divine Being having a temporary human experience where I have the opportunity to experience all sorts of people and scenarios for growth." Also remember, "I am a Divine Being so none of the experiences define who I am."
Enjoy this temporary experience you have here on planet earth. It will be over before you know it.