When I'm going through a breakthrough, I feel tension in my body, emotions that don't necessarily fit the reality of what's going on in my life, and may have a difficult time staying present to what's going on around me. There are also other obvious signs that help me out with my breakthrough.
Yesterday was a good example of this. Two clients cancelled close to their appointments times. I took this as a sign--yes I am going through a shift and others are cooperating by changing their appointment times so I have more time to usher in these inner changes.
I decided to renew my passport and then go on to visit with a friend who is always good for talking through times of inner change. We typically do healing work while together which is always a huge bonus. Great news--it worked to get together with him! As I'm driving from downtown Minneapolis, where I renewed my passport, to 50th and France, I get lost. Now, any close friend of mine will tell you, I'm kind of directionally challenged but not to the degree as yesterday. My best explanation is this: I was in some other dimension with different roads and landmarks. At least a part of me was--I was not getting to my destination. Poor Mel had to help me navigate three times just to go about two miles. Boy was my inner life out of sync with this 3D world--yikes!!
This, coupled with having a few weeks experiencing communication snafus, told me something was brewing to change.
I always love obvious signs on what is going on while in an inner transformation and got one last night from my cousin. She sent something I had read and enjoyed many years back by Don Miguel Ruiz, author of "The Four Agreements." She sent the main bullet points of the four agreements which are as follows:
1. I will be impeccable with my word. I will speak with integrity. I will say only what I mean and avoid using the word to speak against myself or to gossip about others. I will use the power of my word in the direction of truth and love.
2. I will not take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of me. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When I am immune to the opinions and actions of others, I won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. I will not make assumptions. I will find the courage to ask questions and to express what I really want. I will communicate with others as clearly as I can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With this one agreement, I can completely transform my life.
4. I will always do my best. My best is going to change from moment to moment. It will be different when I am healthy as opposed to when I am sick. Under any circumstance, I will simply do my best and as a result, I will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
Wow, this sure is applicable! I knew that my transformation had to do with #2--not taking things personally.
Of course I know better. My brain knows that nothing others do is because of me--we all respond from our own inner world--but my childhood programming, locked within the recesses of my body, can still kick in and say, "if things aren't going well with others, you must have done something wrong." This is a common childhood program.
How do we stay solid with these four important principles/agreements? We must realize that we are human so none of us are going to be perfect with them. However, working on them is key to being our best self.
Thoughts about the four agreements
- The first agreement, speaking with integrity and saying only what you mean and not speaking against others or self is something we need to monitor with ourselves. My rule of thumb is: I don't talk about others and what's going on with them unless its something that truly has to do with me where a situation has happened between me and somebody else. If this is the case, I try to talk directly to the person I'm having the problem with. If this doesn't go anywhere, I talk to a trusted friend who will help me process what it is so I can let it go. Also, finding as many good things to say about another person is uplifting and invigorating!
- The second and third agreement go together in many ways. If you ask questions instead of making assumptions, you'll less likely take things personally because you'll hopefully know where the other person stands. However, if the subject is a touchy one, asking questions can sometimes make things more complicated making the second agreement stand on its own--do not take the other person's words and behaviors personally. Its still very worthwhile to ask the questions. I try to "sit on the questions" for a day or two if I'm unsure of what to say and sometimes find that things untangle themselves without me having to really say anything. Either the other person says something to me about the subject or I discover that my viewpoint has changed making the conversation null and void.
- The second agreement talks about being immune to the opinions and actions of others. If you can get to feeling this way a good chunk of the time you've really come into your power. This also means you can tackle new adventures in your life much more easily since other people's viewpoints and actions will not stop you from your dreams.
- The third agreement talks about asking for what you want. Make sure you really know what you want before asking for it. Sometimes we think we want something that isn't really something helpful or good for us. Unless I'm really clear about what I want, I always ask that my Higher Self gives me clarity about what I want so that I can ask for what is truly best for me.
- The fourth agreement is a good one--always do your best. I believe that most people do the best that they can. If someone has a severe mental health issue, trauma, or personality disorder, their best may not be something others do well with. I think the biggest issue with this one is making sure that we don't judge ourselves, abuse ourselves or hold onto regrets. These emotions, when carried about within us, are like a toxic poison.
It is important to let go of old issues and hurts blocking us from being our best self so we can move forward in implementing these four important principles. But how do we do this effectively?
Exercises to help improve relationships with self and others
- Picture yourself at various ages to see how you see yourself. Think of a photo of yourself, if you can't picture yourself, to get in touch with how you felt at that particular age. You may envision yourself at age 2, 5, 10, 15, 20, 30, 40, etc.
- If your 2 year old self seems sad and lonely, pay attention to your body. Where do you feel the sadness and loneliness in your body? If you feel it in your heart, for example, keep your focus on your heart. If your mind wanders from focusing on your heart, bring it right back. Do not try to fix or figure out why you feel sad or lonely, just stay with the feelings and whatever else shows up there. If the sadness and loneliness gives way to an image of your mother, stay with the image of your mother without trying to figure out why she popped into your awareness. As you keep your focus on your mother, you may see her crying and remember a scene where she was having a hard time so couldn't be with you. Stay with whatever feelings come as you see her looking sad. You may see that you're holding onto her sadness. Stay with her sadness without trying to figure it out or let it go. Let it release organically.
- If there's resistance to letting things go, stay focused on the resistance until your body feels okay about letting things go. Resistance is normal--the body doesn't always like the feeling of letting the old go. Remind your body that these things will only feel sad, lonely, etc. for a very short while. If it takes one week or one month to let go of the resistance, keep with it--it will eventually release.
- Do this with the other ages too. You can do this over a number of days or weeks. As you finish the cycle of going through the different ages, come back to the ones you've already done previously to see if there's anything else that has come up since the last clearing you did. Your body will let you know what is left to do with these ages. You may want to cycle through the various ages off and on for many years since things that may not be ready to be cleared today may be next week or next year.
- Picture important relationships you've had over your lifetime. Picture your parents, your old romantic relationships, old friends, old teachers, and anyone else who has made an impact in your life. Get a sense of how you feel about them as you picture them. Does the relationship feel complete and resolved? If so, thank them and send them love and gratitude.
- If it doesn't, ask that the energy of love goes between you and them to help with resolution. Then ask that the energy field/grid systems between you and them are restructured in such a way that it allows you to come to resolution and completion. As you do this, stay present to your feelings. Pay attention to any intuitive insights that come in as to what needs to be done to resolve these old relationships. It could be that you need to only resolve them within yourself without doing anything else. If you are to do anything with them, speak and act from your heart and realize that their reaction is theirs.
- If you need to resolve the relationship(s) only with yourself, do the same exercise you did with resolving the different ages. Picture the person, see how you feel when you picture them, pay attention to your body as you picture them and stay present to whatever feelings, emotions, pictures, and sensations show up for you. Stay present to each and everything that shows up until they release. Same goes with any resistance to letting things go.
- As you feel resolved with each person, thank the person for all you've learned together and send them love and gratitude.
- As you work through the various ages and various relationships, ask that new and healthy beliefs, energies and structures come in to support a happy, congruent, and balanced you.
- Ask that a strengthening and stabilizing energy comes in for optimal health and vitality so that your body excepts all positive energies and positive with your Higher Self deciding what that is.
- Ask to restructure and recalibrate all grid systems that effect you into the pattern that reflects the work you did today throughout all time and space and beyond, all appropriate dimension or until no longer needed.
- Ask that a no time, no space cocoon/zone is around your aura for a fast processing and upgrade of your energy field (this will help move you out of time and space/linear time so that the processing and upgrade is done much faster).
You are a Divine Being having a human experience. Each person on the planet is a Divine Being having a human experience. Sometimes life, ourselves, and others do not seem that Divine but we have to remember that this is a planet of learning that is very temporary. We have the opportunity to learn and grow exponentially right now due to the era humanity is in. Let's all take advantage of this amazing time to learn and be alive.