Saturday, July 20, 2013

Transforming outdated coping mechanisms that once helped you survive

We all use coping mechanisms that keep traumatic or difficult situations from fully knocking us down. They are necessary and useful when something difficult is happening.  The challenge is that many times we don't deal with the originating trauma and/or continue using something that helped us cope a long while back that now becomes a hindrance rather than a help.


This is a common coping mechanism used when something traumatic happens to you.  If you feel like you can't stay in our body, you may have experienced something traumatic that you may have repressed.

Why would you repress/not remember something that is so severe?

The brain has built-in safety mechanisms that help a survivor cope under extreme circumstances.  The amygdala, the part of the brain that passes new information to the hippocampus for categorizing and storing into short term and then long term memory, is also the part of the brain that gets anxious.  If too much stress occurs, the amygdala gets anxious so does not pass the information onto the hippocampus. The memory then gets flung into the unconscious without being categorized and filed into short term memory.  The memory then becomes lost due to the lack of processing so is forgotten until and if it pops into the consciousness at some future date.

This is an amazing coping mechanism that keeps you sane during insane circumstances.  However, later on it can become a hindrance.  The severe event may be causing depression, anxiety, and other physical challenges without you knowing why.  Dissociating also makes you less focused and less present to your every day life and can make you feel like an observer of your own life rather than a participant.

If you have dissociation, you want to work with a professional on it.  This isn't anything you want to navigate alone.


Most of us numb our emotions for a variety of reasons.  You may have small to big problems you don't want to deal with, you may feel unlovable due to old childhood, teen or adult experiences, you may come in with past life issues that bring in a niggling feeling of doubt and insecurity.  There are numerous reasons you may want to numb your emotions.

How do we numb?

You may overeat, use alcohol and/or drugs or simply shut down your emotions

Numbing may be useful as a coping mechanism as a child or teen or may help during short term stressful situations but is definitely something that can cause blocks in intimacy and happiness if its used as a long term coping strategy.


This one is a shirt tail relative to numbing.  Instead of dealing with your challenges, you may distract yourself with work, television, computer or anything that will keep you from dealing with your life.

Despite trying, no one can get away from their issues.  If you don't deal with them, you will have mental, emotional and physical challenges.

Stuck in emotions instead of taking action

Sometimes you may get stuck in old emotions rather than taking action.  Anger turned inward can cause depression so you can't get out of bed or do much; overt anger can  be a way to keep people from being close to you so you don't have to deal with relationship issues.  Emotions can get stuck in your body turning into fibromyalgia or other pain issues.

Staying a life-long victim

Sometimes staying a life-long victim can have its benefits--especially if you're afraid of dealing with the past, afraid of failure or have irrational fears of success.  If you have an excuse for staying stuck, you can feel better about not doing anything and being a victim is the perfect excuse.

However, being a victim is appropriate and necessary for a period of time.  We need to acknowledge our hurts and work on what happened to us.  The goal is to eventually give up this label and move into survivor and eventually into feeling like our victim-hood was a past life that has little to do with us now except working on left-over patterns and beliefs.

We don't want to blame ourselves for using these coping mechanisms since they are what many if not all of us do.  After-all, until the late 1970's, there was no therapy or alternative healing tools to help deal with life's pain and challenges so coping mechanisms were used to survive and were all we had.

Now we have therapy and many tools to help us let go of the past.  We are very fortunate to be alive during this transformational era.  Now we really have no need to keep these coping mechanisms for anything other than short term help to get is through the actual traumatic event or difficult circumstance.

The below healing process is a good supplement to working with a professional on your past traumas, difficulties, and issues.

Healing process for transforming outdated coping mechanisms
  • I ask my Higher Self (HS) to direct and my optimal spiritual team to assist (spirits in the other realms/dimension that are more advanced than our human existence and have contracted to assist you in this lifetime).
  • I ask for an energy of protection and energy of invisibility so only those spirits and guides that are optimal can participate and see in.
  • I ask that all the work done is throughout my soul's history and beyond, all levels of my Being (my mind, emotions, and body) and all grid systems/energy fields that effect me using non-linear time to process.
  • I ask that the Crystalline Dimension (this dimension is the highest vibrational dimension there is besides Source/God) is opened up in my space at the highest level my body can handle.
  • I ask that the vibration of love goes into my chakra system (seven major energy centers following the spine), etheric body (blueprint of the mind, emotions, and body), aura (egg shaped energy around each person that is the attracting part of the energy field), connecting grid (this connects you to the universal matrix) and universal matrix (this is like a giant telephone line connecting you to everybody and everything) transforming anything below the vibration of love into the vibration of love.
  • I ask that the crystalline energy/filaments (the highest vibration from the creation realm/dimension) is woven into my chakra system, etheric body, aura, connecting grid, and universal matrix raising the vibration of my energy field to the highest vibration my physical body can comfortably manage.
  • I ask my HS to pinpoint all memory imprints, emotions, unconscious and unprocessed circumstances in my life that are safe to let go of now and ask they are encapsulated in a bubble of loving crystalline energy and moved out of my energy field or transformed into self love and gratitude for lessons learned.
  • I ask my HS to pinpoint all outdated coping mechanisms that are safe to let go of now and encapsulate them in a bubble of loving crystalline energy and move them out of my energy field or transform them into self love and gratitude for lessons learned.  I ask that these include:  dissociation (only if you are working with a professional on this), numbing and stagnation, distracting self, keeping myself stuck in old emotions, and keeping the victim as a life-time label or any other coping mechanisms I'm using that keep me stuck in the past.
  • I ask my HS to pinpoint all lower realm entities that are dormant, invisible, corded to me or in my energy field backwards and forwards in time that are attached to these old memories, emotions, unconscious and unprocessed life circumstances and outdated coping mechanisms.  I ask that the entities and energies are encapsulated in a bubble of loving crystalline energy and moved out of my energy field.  I ask that the no time/no space cocoon around me is activated for a fast release.  I ask that a tunnel of light appears for each entity so they can cross over to their next higher level journey.  I ask that energies come in for them so they can transform into their next higher level self for their next higher level journey.
  • I ask that an "implant extract energy" comes in to release and transmute any lower realm entity and energy residue.
  • I ask that my own Divine Essence/Spirit fills all voids and spaces along with any gifts and positive energies I need at this time.
  • I ask that all the work is locked in down to a cellular level.
  • I ask that all grid systems/energy fields that effect me are restructured and recalibrated into the pattern that reflects the work I did today throughout all time and space and beyond, all appropriate dimension or until no longer needed.
  • I ask that a no time, no space cocoon (kind of like a caterpillar cocoon) goes around me (you are asking that your brain moves out of linear time into what most of the universe contains--non-linear time) for a fast processing and upgrade of my energy system.
  • I thank my HS for directing, my optimal spirit guides for assisting.  I thank them for continuing to assist throughout completion of this process and beyond with my HS directing it.

    Do this process every day for four weeks and then do it every month or whenever you intuitively know you need to do this again.
Its now time to shed the past and be fully present to a new present/future.  You can manifest a life filled with new adventures and contentment since each day is a brand new day with brand new opportunities!

Join us for an exciting workshop on September 21, 2013 with presenters Henry Emmons, MD, Maureen Higgins, MA and Barbara Stahl, EdS.   Learn new tools for letting go of the past, opening your heart to love and manifesting a new life.  Other faculty there:  Michele Rae, MA, Tim Culbert, MD, Kevin Harrington, PhD, Marc Anderson.  For more information and to register go to: and click on the "events and workshops" tab.  To register, scroll down to the end of the page.  Look forward to seeing you there!!


Doug Toft said...


Thanks for the post. Nice to see you blogging again.

Rose Meier said...


This is so powerful - I've just realized how much healing has been taking place since I started this process when you first posted it. Deep gratitude for this beautiful next step in my journey.